Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Because I Feel Sorry For Him...

Guest Post: From Howard Levett,            Windknots and Tangled Lines

As many of you know, The River Damsel did a guest post on Windknots & Tangled Lines. Let's be clear...I asked her to do it. And a good one it was.  Thank you again Emily! Let's also be clear...she did not ask me to return the favor. Hmmm...

So, if you're reading this on Windknots it might be because The Damsel knows it's not a fair trade-off because I don't know a thing about cold weather fishing, warm weather fishing, fly tying, skiing or tiddlywinks.

If you're reading this at Damsel's place, it's there because she feels sorry for me because I don't know a thing about cold weather fishing, warm weather fishing, fly tying, skiing or tiddlywinks!

So, without further ado-do is my list of things to do in Utah when it's too cold to fish.

10.  Go visit the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! Whether you like hip-hop, country or rock, these folks are not to be missed. I don't know how they manage to all stand so straight and tall...their impressive.

9.  Find a Utah Highway Patrol Officer and ask him if you can bum a smoke...

RD:  Honestly, do you think that this guy is going to take time to give you a smoke,
 when he is in the middle of his doughnut routine??!!

8.  Go to a bookstore and ask for a book on making wine in your home...

7.  See how many statues of Joseph Smith or Brigham Young you can find in a day...

RD: Ya know, I didn't find any of those, but we do have a fine UHP female officer with her kanine friend!

6. Take a drink out of the Great Salt Lake...

5.  After you do number 6, ask to be taken to a Jewish hospital...

4.  Stop by the River Damsel's house and ask for a cup of hot cocoa...

RD:  And upon request, I might even top it off with marshmallows!

3.  Stand on a busy street corner and yell, "I Believe!!"

2.  After you do number 3, ask the arresting officer for a smoke...

1.  Ask a local where the nearest mosque is...

Well, now that I've alienated every Mormon, Muslim and Utahan in work is done.

RD:  Howard, I'm not sure if you have alienated this guy though...just sayin'!



  1. Ahhhhhh OK Howard? OK..... You need to visit Utah, and find there are a lot better things to do here man!

  2. Brian, I've been "through" Utah. Beautiful state...but seriously, it was hard to find a liquor store and the officer that stopped me for speeding made me throw my smokes away! I do want to come to Utah to fish the Provo with you and Emily but they keep turning me back at the border!

  3. Too funny Howard! If they can let the likes of Emily and I in, I am sure they can do that for you too, smokes or not.. You can always leave the smokes at home, you can get them here, as far as I know anyway!

  4. Ask for a Jewish hospital with an Indian doctor...?

  5. Replies
    1. Sanders my plans for this year are up in the air right now but that sounds like a fine idea.

    2. Sanders ~ I'm sure you can find the road to the Provo River...somehow, Howard keeps getting lost!

  6. The MT choir would be at the top of my list--enjoyed!!!!!!

  7. They really are amazing aren't they Bill? Almost worth a side trip to Salt Lake.

  8. Bill ~ If you are ever out this way...I will get you some tickets.

  9. My Grand Daughter was asked by her third grade teacher, "Have you ever visited a foreign country"?

    Blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, and, with a smile she said, "Yes, I have".

    The teacher said, "really, what foreign country did you visit"?

    Blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, and, with a smile she said, "Utah"!

    1. LOL! Don't kids say the darnedest things...her name isn't Emily is it?

    2. I'm with Mel's grand daughter. Utah is easy to confuse with a foreign country. Incredible landscapes, some fine fishing and skiing, but some of the rules and some of the people...and you definitely don't want to meet the highway patrol.

  10. Howdy Fred, fancy meeting you here between the devil and the deep blue sea! I guess other than my run-in with a nasty trooper with no sense of humor, I'd have to say that Utah is pretty nice, if a bit foreign feeling...kind of like New Jersey!